Reading a story of a woman whose child is diagnosed with stage 4 cancer at the age of 20 months and gives birth to twins ten days later is hard to do. Reading the torment that child endured, the pain he suffered... who is the woman? Is it really me?
As I type I am breaking some rules. I am playing with Cannon and working. I generally divide my time as mother and pediatric cancer advocate, especially when I get Cannon all to myself. Dada is golfing, which is so deserved after the week he has had. He works so hard and so many hours - I'm very proud of that man! The twins are having a little siesta. But, with September around the corner this is a crazy busy time and sleep is totally overrated. ;) So a little rule breaking this morning as I edit our "Thankful For the Fight" book and throw blocks at Cannon for him to throw as he plays in the pool.
I confess I have NEVER, ever gone back and read my blogs. I have never read my blog on the day the twins were born, the day he was diagnosed - nothing! Reading about Cannon in ICU receiving his first chemo is truly horrific! My chest tightens, my heart beats fast, my stomach aches and tears roll down my face. I wonder in this moment, "Am I ready to do this book?"
The reality is this: cancer waits for no one! Today it will kill 16 kids under the age of 15. Just today! Just in the USA alone! This year cancer will kill more kids than any other disease in the US. So the reality is this, Melissa Wiggins: suck it up! Is it hard? Yes! Is it painful? You bet. Does it make you sick to read? Sure does. Will it create awareness to a world that some think is only balloons, smiles and cute kids with bald heads? You bet your life it will! I play this over and over in my head as I read the torture this mother describes of her son. That mother is me.
It is now that I feel I must thank all of you who know me and don't know me. There has been so much support. Some people we were close to have not been around for our son and others have shown up in droves. For that, I am eternally grateful.
My son can't create a child, he has hearing loss, growth issues, learning issues, muscle weakness, suppressed immune system and can't talk, just to name a few. But my son is alive! He will not experience this pain he has endured in vain. Cannonball Kids' Cancer is here to stay - so watch out kids' cancer: you messed with the wrong TEAM!!!!
Written by Mumma-Bear
Cannonball Kids' Cancer
Thankful For The Fight
66 Days Cancer Free
NO relapse EVER