I Choose Better, NOT Bitter

I've said it before...

cancer has changed me.

What I should have said is: cancer has changed me, BUT I choose for the better, not bitter.

It's easy to get bitter and discouraged when your child faces death right before your eyes. To watch a disease literally try to take your 20 month old son from right in front of you.

Since entering this world which I often refer to as 'the cancer world', I have seen people deal with it in many ways. Some are negative, bitter and discouraging and some say "There is hope, fight, never give up."

I choose to try to be better,

For it could be so easy to be bitter.

Have I had my moments? You bet!! Like when I was on a flight and the lady behind me complained that she couldn't sit with her friend for a 2 hour flight when I hadn't held my 4 month old babies for weeks and my son had been through a 13 hour surgery and chemo and had vomited in the security line. Sure, I've had my moments. Thank God for the power of prayer or that lady may have heard all about it. ;)

In all seriousness, it takes REAL effort to stay strong, to stay upbeat and to try to be better and not bitter, so I don't judge anyone who takes the later route. 

But I choose better.

I have battled with the post traumatic stress due to watching your child literally fight to live before your eyes, trying every treatment imaginable that riddled his 24 pound body. 

But I also know this: Not once has God taken me through a storm and not taken me to a better place.

I just triumph over tragedy.

Better over bitter! 

If Cannon wasn't alive today would I be saying the same? I don't know the answer to that question and I pray I never do.

All we have is today, and for today I choose to shut my mouth to people in Publix complaining that there is no roasted chicken left. I ignore the man that just flicked me off at the light. Just for today, I choose better over bitter.

Side note: Mark your calendars for April 19th, everyone. Yes, that was the date we heard for the first time "Your son has stage 4 cancer, he has a 50/50 chance."

Well, we are having a HUGE celebration. We'll be closing down Ivanhoe Road and hosting a fundraiser to fund our research project for pediatric brain cancer.

Mark your calendars! More details to come. 

Written by Mumma-Bear

Cannonball Kids' cancer


Thankful For The Fight

Pray Hard

271 Days No Evidence of Disease

No Relapse Ever