Red Sky At Night, Shepherds' Delight

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I wonder if the pictures of kids acting so calm and kind with nurses as they access ports or obtain IV's is real. I mean, I am sure they are, but oh boy, that is not how Cannonball rolls! Today was rough. Three of us pinned him down as he screamed and kicked and then ripped out his port. So then we had four of us pin him down. You can imagine - me on his shoulders, one on his legs, one on his arms and one trying to get the needle in. Then he ripped off the Tegaderm patch that keeps the port in. Tonight he got mad at me as I made him leave the museum since he misbehaved and that didn't go down well, so he ripped the port out again. 

His behavior at times has been challenging which honestly is so unlike Cannonball. As we left the museum tonight he was kicking and slapping me. I only recall one other time he has done that since he was born. 

You think toddlers are challenging, try a three year-old in the cancer world! 

I remain in full belief that Cannon remains NED. Today and always! 

Cannon's leg has gone from limping badly to not really limping, to turned in, to tiptoe walking. Honestly, I'm not sure what to make of it. Tonight we went out with Oscar's mum and dad and sister. I admire them for being around Cannonball, I can't imagine their pain! Yet they remain kind, warm and loving to my baby Cannonball. Tonight we went to the park to kick around the ball - simple play is so my favorite! No Disney parks, no rides - just a ball and a field. It's just so peaceful! Cannon kept limping badly and then falling but remained happy and giggling. It upset Amanda to watch Cannon that way and brought back memories - yet all she did was hug me and tell me to call if I needed her. I told her Cannon was fine! I believe! I still do!!! 

I said it yesterday, I will say it again! Cannon remains NED! Unless I see a scan to say otherwise I won't believe it. I do wonder if I am being naive or if I'm just following my Mumma-Bear gut. 

I don't say this a lot: I am a big girl so I don't feel this way often but I do really miss my husband right now. Tonight, I wish I could look into his positive eyes and have him say it's going to be fine - we are a team! I'm truly blessed he is my teammate for life! I miss you tonight, Michael Wiggins! 

Cannon and I were told to arrive at 8am. I believe by 3pm I should know what's up with my baby boy! My Cannonball. 

I met two British families here for DFMO - both were told NED today! I believe tomorrow all three of us will celebrate!!! And if I'm wrong (which doesn't happen often ;)), then Cannon's lawyer parents will find him what he needs wherever he needs it! 

There is an old Scottish saying that was used for shepherds to tell the weather: "Red sky in the morning, shepherds' warning, red sky at night shepherds' delight." Well tonight the sky in beautiful Michigan was as red as I've ever seen it! Tomorrow will be shepherds' delight!!! I just know it.

I can't say I've ever been this nervous for a scan in my life but I also don't know I've ever been as confident for NED. My mum called me and I hate to worry my mum. She has had enough worries her whole life and she asked me if I was worried. I told her no, not at all lol... She was like "Melissa, I'm your mother." She knows her daughter like I know Cannon. Case and point!!!! 

Let your blessings outshine your complaints. Tonight I have no complaints. Okay, maybe one, I'm exhausted lol. Seriously though - my son lays aside me happy, my twins are at home having a blast with no house rules since I'm gone, my husband loves and makes me feel special daily and Saturday night I get to be with Olivia and Nicole for a date night. Tonight and everyday my blessings outshine my complaints. 

You heard it from me first - Cannon remains NED.

I will post tomorrow after I've spoken to my husband and family. So around 5pm . 

Thank you to all the Warriors who think and pray for my Cannonball daily.

I am 

I continue to be

Thankful For The Fight

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Melissa.m.wiggins@cannonballkidscancer.org

Written by Mumma-Bear

Cannonball Kids' cancer

www.cannonballkidscancer.org

Thankful For The Fight

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1 year 29 days No Evidence of Disease

No Relapse Ever