Crazy title, I know. But you see, sometimes my head is a little crazy... sometimes a lot crazy.
As I type I'm sitting on a late night flight from Alabama to Orlando (home). I spent the weekend in parent orientation for my daughter who is about to be a freshman at the best university in the country (winky face). University of Alabama will be her new home for the next four years.
As I reflect as I often do I look out the window in this almost empty plane and see speckles on the ground. Tiny, tiny spots - I'm thousands of feet up high in the sky floating in the air. I bet people never thought that would happen... but it did.
Many people don't think pediatric cancer can be cured. It can! It will! Perhaps not in my lifetime, but it will. Although Cannonball Kids' cancer is a small fish today in the beating kids' cancer world - we are proud to be part of the movement to change the face of kids' cancer!! Nothing is impossible!!
William Becker said: "The difficulties and struggles of today are but the best price we must pay for the accomplishment and victory of tomorrow."
I believe we can victor over children's cancer. I just do! Others disagree but if you allow people's words to stop you, they will!
I won't stop all my days from TRYING!!
Coincidentally, (I don't believe in coincidences and many of you have read me write - "God incidences") a Martina McBride song played on my iPhone - "I'm Gonna Love You Through It". If you aren't familiar, it's about a woman who has cancer and she says "cancer doesn't discriminate if you're 38". Instantly I changed the song. cancer is a life sucker, that's a fact!! It wants every piece of you - your kid, your marriage, your health. It will take every ounce of you if you allow it. Sometimes you don't even see it happen.
Tonight I texted with my friend whose child is fighting neuroblastoma like Cannon, but my dear friend's daughter is fighting a relapse. To say she and her family are living in Hell doesn't quite cover it. So tonight when I got to the airport and they told me the flight was very delayed and I wouldn't get into Orlando until 12am, I told them "There are bigger problems. I can handle a delayed flight." All I could think of was my friend and her baby girl! Today the reality is my life, my marriage, my relationship with my four kids, our Foundation - all of it can be what I want it to be! If I allow cancer to keep sucking me dry then it will. That means turning off cancer songs and not listening to them with tears rolling down my face. I'm getting better - I'm a work in progress!
Oh, the title - I almost forgot!!! Exhaustion is kicking in now. Olivia and I were walking and I said "You will miss Winston our dog when you move here. I am not sure how much longer he will last." In part I was preparing her and me. Olivia was like "You have Winston dead and he is only 5." You see our last mastiff only lived until he was 4 and on average his breed lives until 8. I'm very attached to Winston - really attached. I mean, he was my first baby. I have raised him from 6 weeks old. Olivia and I named him. Statistics are a funny thing - whether it's for cancer or your dog we shouldn't allow them to rule our thoughts. I often do and I am working on doing a better job at that!! Experience has shown me living in today saves me amongst other things gray hairs and worry lines. ;)
The mind is a very powerful tool and I've had a dead dog in mine and a dead son. The reality is only I can control my mind. I want Winston to live forever just like I want Cannon too. But the truth is neither will. But if I think about what COULD happen tomorrow I can't possibly enjoy TODAY. Today my dog loves me like crazy and is very much alive and so is my son. Today both are alive!!! TODAY! I need to remind myself of this!
Today! This weekend!
I had one of the best weekends since Cannon was diagnosed. My sister and Olivia and I teased each other all weekend and laughed so hard for three days that I'm not sure but I think I may now have abs. I allowed my control freak self to let go and enjoy the moments. When I sat in the airport tonight I prayed and I thanked God - "Thank you for giving me this amazing weekend with my daughter and sister - two of the most important people in my life. I would lay down my life for them both!" A truly special weekend that I will never forget!
A high-five to dad who stayed behind and did swimming, park play, ice cream and Chick-Fil-Ai with the three crazy sons of ours with no help whatsoever and better still, zero complaining! I'm pretty proud that my husband leaves the house with three under four, perhaps too much information but that's what I call sexy!!! You're one of a kind Michael Wiggins - I am so thankful you're my teammate in LIFE! What you do with a smile on your face is amazing!
I continue to be
Thankful For The Fight
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Written by Mumma-Bear
Cannonball Kids' cancer
Thankful For The Fight
1 year and 2 months No Evidence of Disease
No Relapse Ever